“It takes a village.”

 

This is one of my favorite baby analogies.

But sadly, when it comes to breastfeeding, we seem to have forgotten…

 

Take our modern times.  Let’s think about the mom who is sitting at home right now, with a new baby.  This may be the first time in her life she’s been so close to such a tiny baby.

She’s on maternity leave.

Her family means well, but stays out of her way.

Her friends send wishes, but don’t want to butt-in too much.

Her partner is out working much of the day.

• How is she supposed to know what to do with a new baby?
• How is she supposed to do all that stuff by herself?
• And how is all this supposed to happen when she’s exhausted from not sleeping (and still recuperating from the birth).

—>  She’s not.

She couldn’t possibly.  And thinking that she’s supposed to will only make her frustrated and upset.

 

Now let’s imagine this mom at a different time, in a different place.  She lives in a village.  She’s lived here with these people all her life.  They’re all together all the time, sharing and helping each other with day to day things and also major life events.

As a young girl, she saw brand new babies, and their needs and effect on the household.

She saw what was really going on with a new mama (no sugarcoating).

She saw other women help the new mama learn to take care of her new baby and learn how to breastfeed. 

She may have even helped herself with things around the house or with the other children.

 

Now it’s her turn.  She knows there are big changes coming, and she knows there is help out there.  She has much to learn about this new baby, especially how to breastfeed, but she has people who can teach her.

Her expectations are realistic.  Her help is real.  She is ready to learn and has excellent support and information available to her.

What a difference that information and support make in her experience!

She can get the hang of things and get on with breastfeeding and raising her baby much faster.  She’s calmly practicing her new skill and honing it as she goes, for new questions pop up and her village is there with the answers.

 

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Whereas in the traditional village, those women who taught the new mama were her mother, aunts, cousins, sister, neighbors and friends (who have all had their own unique breastfeeding experience), in our modern times, many of these women did not breastfeed, or are not readily available to talk about it and help hands on.

What’s a new mother to do? She needs a community of breast-feeders available to teach and support her in this journey.

My mother was among the few of her community to breastfeed.  I remember growing up in a house where breastfeeding was talked about often.  Friends and family opened up to my mother about their difficulties, and she was happy to be there with the benefit of her experience.

She would tell me about some of those principles to prepare me for life with a breastfeeding baby.  It had always been a dream of mine.

I’ll tell you my unique story at another time, but suffice it to say that my dreams of breastfeeding did not come easily.  But I had the background, I had the support, and I collected the information I needed and made it work.  Eventually.

 

Now, I’m a happily breastfeeding mama.  I absolutely love it!

And it’s my turn to offer support and information to other mamas like me.  I have built my own breastfeeding village through support I lined up in my family and friends and breastfeeding professionals and groups.

What kind of village will you line up to support your breastfeeding?  It’ll make all the difference in the world for your breastfeeding experience.