You know that old saying, “it takes a village to raise a child?”  They weren’t kidding!  They say many modern young mothers find loneliness to be their main problem.  I like to attribute this phenomenon to two separate aspects in our new life:  the first part is mental: knowledge, expectations and emotional support; the second part is practical: actual physical help, running the house (cooking, cleaning, shopping) and time one on one with the baby (naptime, anyone?).

I have been pretty vocal about the wonderful help my mother has been in this entire process.  I feel that I can enjoy raising my little girl, and not merely mark time and survive.  After all we’ve been through to finally have her, it would be a shame if the lingering depression and the new hardships would rob me of being present and alert with her while she grows up and changes constantly.

Let’s explore this further.  We’ll start with the straight forward:  Many moms go through weeks of zombie mode – not sleeping well at night, and constantly running around all day.  I have only experienced zombie mode for a day or two.  My mom would often tell me to leave the baby with her for an hour, and go to sleep now.  Leave the dishes and the laundry, forget about the phone calls and books.  Go now and sleep for one hour.  What a huge difference that makes!

And this actually spills into the mental part: I tend to get lost.  I am overwhelmed with all that needs to get done, or all that should be, and I don’t know where to start.  Having help prioritizing from an experienced mother, having someone to tell you that this is ok, and that is good enough, and the main focus now is this – really helps to calm down and worry less.

I’ll continue to post ‘village’ related entries, and further detail some types of help and lessons which made a difference to me – whether you’re on the giving or receiving end of it, I hope you’ll find some inspiration, and share your tips and tricks with the rest of us as well!