This used to be a favorite motto of mine.  As it turns out, some things you can’t prepare for.  Although I can think of many examples of this, I’ve chosen a light one for today: beginning to bottle feed.  This subject has come up in many mothers’ groups lately, often with extreme opinions and no small amount of confusion.  I’ve taken the liberty of reviewing the arguments and advice from mothers and professionals alike, for those of you who like to collect information, like me.

Your baby is nursing.  This is all he knows.  At some point, you’ll have to go back to work, or leave him for several hours with a sitter, and he’ll need to get some nourishment from not-your-breast.  Here is where devoted aunts, grandmothers and friends love to pipe in with advice.  Disclaimer – much advice from these sources is based heavily on personal experiences, especially difficult ones.  “you must get him used to a bottle early, so that he will agree to take it when the time comes”, “my child refused the bottle when he needed it, I wish I would have given him bottles all along”, “I couldn’t go anywhere”, “he suffered for a week with the caregiver”, “he’s too dependent on you” etc. etc.

But we all remember that every baby is different, and every mother is different. Situations can be different.  And allow me to add – ages and times are different.  Some examples mothers gave in the group: “I tried giving a bottle at three months, in preparation, and he refused.  I didn’t fight it, and tried again at six months when I had no choice, and there was no problem.”  “I wanted to get him used to the bottle early.  Every few days, he would get one bottle from a family member.  Then, when I went back to work, he wouldn’t take it! So much for all of that preparation…”  “if he will be desperate enough, he’ll take the bottle” “I bought every different kind of bottle known to man, and he hated them all.  But the nanny managed with him eventually, I don’t know how.”

So, you can prepare a lot, even have a hard time, and it might not help in real time.  Or, you might not prepare at all, and things will work out.  And probably every variation in the middle.  The consensus in one of the groups was:  when there is a need for a substitute, then deal with it.  No reason to prepare a baby who may not be ready now, but will be later, or whose preparation may make no difference.  When the time of real need comes, then deal with the problem, if there will be one.  He won’t take the bottle?  Try then the helpful tips:  have someone else give the bottle, not the mother (it can be confusing), try different types of bottles, different ways of preparing the milk.  Maybe, it doesn’t need to be a bottle at all.  Try a spoon or a cup, or even a plastic syringe (no needle) or eyedropper.  Eventually, your sweetheart will get with the program.

Here’s hoping for an easy time for all!